slam dunk me into the nearest trash can
01 25 2014
cjwho:

New York

Museum of Modern Art facing W 54th Street

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made rebloggable

Hmm. I wouldn’t describe Jaime as immortal. In fact, I think Jaime pre whoops-i-lost-my-hand incident was at a low point if you really think about it. But being a Lannister, and kin to Tyrion, he wasn’t going to let his slandered nickname and the fact that he lives in a bullshit society get him down. I mean, all he needs is Cersei and a sword, right? His family, Cersei (I list her separately to indicate how important she is to him) and his ability to protect and fight for them is what he values most of all. Everything and one else can go fuck themselves. I mean he made an oath and sacrificed his heritage (a normal life pretty much) just so he could be near to Cersei. He pushed a small child out a window and was willing to kill another for Cersei’s sake (and i can’t remember if he or the Hound killed the butcher boy). Oh and he killed the god damn king to protect his father, and I wouldn’t doubt a second he’d kill for Tyrion. Yea, “what I do for love” is not a joke. It’s, uh, frightening.
The only thing Jaime has going for him pre-golden-hand is his skill as a swordsman. And when I say “what he’s got going for him” I mean that as in, “the only thing he feels that makes him useful” “the only thing he finds valuable in himself” “the only thing that keeps the shit away.” And so when he loses that hand, it’s not really a fall. It’s more like reality crashing into him. Suddenly the one thing he could threaten people with, the only thing he could use to defend all the shit that came his and his family’s way, is gone. For so long he’s been living in denial, playing the loose cannon, doing what he wants, BELIEVING it was better to laugh and flip the bird to the world than to actually face it.
But losing that hand, that value, he finds himself worthless. He claims he’d be better dead than alive. That’s not a loss of pride as numba one swordsman of Westeros, that’s a loss of hope. That’s despair. Finally after ignoring it, he has to face the fact that the only thing HE VALUED IN HIMSELF was his ability to fight, and now it’s gone. And losing the wall that protected him, he has no choice to but to face how much being called Kingslayer bugs him, that he’s sacrificed so much for others and received so little in return (I also think he yearns to be used too. He believes it’s teh only thing people respect and value in him thus why HE values it so god damn much).
Jaime didn’t spiral. He’d spiraled downward some time ago. Losing his hand forced him to see the truth about himself (and eventually the truth about his family).
and those would be my thoughts on Jaime Lannister’s “downward spiral.”
creese:

“Portrait of Edgar Allan Poe” by Michael Creese

there is an empty place within me where my heart was once