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Caitlin. 24. Occupation: figuring it out. Currently writing a novel. Owns a cat and three dogs.
John Irving


Coldhands did not move.
"A monster," Bran said.
The ranger looked at Bran as if the rest of them did not exist.
"Your monster, Brandon Stark."




Let me first say this:

  • Arya Stark is a traumatized preteen on the run for her life who has faced threats of sexual abuse and is being trained as an assassin.
  • Sansa Stark is a traumatized teenage girl at the mercy of a malicious, overgrown, pedophiliac man child who’s basically responsible for the War of the Five Kings.

They are both suffering more than anybody, let alone two orphaned little girls, ever should and the struggles they go through after their father’s death cannot be minimized in any way.

But that being said, I want to discuss their portrayal more under the cut.

I definitely think that the narrative favors Arya more than it does Sansa in AGOT which sets up their arcs in the series. Prior to Arya being understandably traumatized by her status as a child on the run during a war, she was given nothing to really regret doing, or nothing the reader could blame her for. She was insecure yes, and faced massive issues with the rigid gender roles of Westerosi society, but those are societal issues to be corrected, not character flaws in Arya. In fact, I think Arya’s story is more about how much the world is unfair, more than about how Arya as a character responds to the world being unfair and has to account for her own character flaws.

Sansa at the beginning, is naive, admittedly shallow, spends a lot of time in her own head telling stories about handsome princes and jousts, enjoys “princessy” classically feminine activities like sewing, and has a tendency to trust absolutely terrible people, which is why she runs to Cersei when she learns Ned plans to take them away. Arya on the other hand, is capable of seeing through the facade Joffrey and Cersei put on, she is extroverted and enjoys spending time with everybody from small folk to her bastard brother, and she’s a tomboy; she likes classically “male” activities like sword fighting and doesn’t mind getting dirty and roughing it, even if she distinctly identifies as female. 

I’m not saying that GRRM is being intentionally sexist with his portrayal of Arya and Sansa, but the fact that the “feminine” character is given (very understandable) character flaws that need to be shed in order for her to survive and thrive and the more “tomboyish” character is perfect the way she is but the world is shit for not accepting her uniqueness is just a bit… discomforting to me. This all is probably because of my own character biases  and the fact I have a very hard time relating to Arya because of major personality differences but the fact is that she makes no real mistakes in the narrative; threatening Joffrey doesn’t count because Joffrey is an awful person and Cersei is very clearly responsible for Lady’s death and Sandor/Cersei for Micah’s and even if Arya blames herself, there’s no way the reader is ever going to as they do Sansa. 

So I almost understand why Sansa was so much more hated than Arya outside of Tumblr for the longest time. I don’t think they were handled with an even hand, and to be honest, the same goes for a lot of other “two sides of the coin” in the novels, characters who go through similar arcs or hold similar roles in the series. If we take Ned/Catelyn, Jaime/Cersei, Cersei/Tyrion, Jon/Dany, in all four of those pairs, there is one character that faces much more criticism and in all four cases, it’s the woman. For instance, Cersei and Tyrion are two sides of the sexism/ableism intersectionality debate but we don’t get Cersei’s perspective until her son’s been murdered in front of her and father’s been murdered by her brother. Tyrion murders a sex worker and his father in ASOS so what if we didn’t get his perspective until ADWD? Would he be as likable? I doubt it. 

But anyway, I think this is more an issue with the author instead of the character themselves. It’s sort of a very nit picky thing but it’s been bothering me for a while so have at it.


I don’t deny that’s a good point, and I do think Arya was written to be immediately more sympathetic than Sansa. But I also think that was a conscious narrative choice, that I personally liked.

Arya is a sympathetic character in AGOT, and easier to relate to than Sansa. But the plot drives Arya into becomind hardened, and although she keeps her basic personality intact (loyal, brave, generally moral and kind), it becomes a lot harder to relate to her as she turns into a murderer and trains to become an assassin. It’s interesting to follow her plot, and you still sympathize with her and feel for her, but it’s harder to relate to a child soldier than it is to a carefree girl.

Sansa, on the other hand, becomes more relatable than she was. She becomes kinder and more self-aware. She sees the world as it is, finally, and it’s when she suffers that she starts to think about some of our other favorite characters with kindness (Arya, Jon, etc). She’s always been kind, but it’s as she suffers that we see it more clearly. And I truly believe that was a narrative choice, to make Arya harder to relate to and Sansa easier to relate to. To switch their parts that way, so to speak.

I’m not explaining everything away though, because I think GRRM isn’t perfect in his choices of writing typically feminine characters, but I genuinely think it’s interesting the way he chose to develop Sansa and Arya.


Through the House of the Undying Ones and What Daenerys Targaryen Found There. ( Part I

TWOW sample chapters


Where to find sample chapters of The Winds of Winter, the upcoming book 6 of A Song of Ice and Fire:

More information about other TWOW chapters can be found here

literary parallels in asoiaf


"I should wear the armor, and you the gown." -Cersei Lannister

"Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full Of direst cruelty.” -William Shakespeare (Lady Macbeth), Macbeth

"You were made to be kissed, often and well." -Jorah Mormont

You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” -Margaret Mitchell, Gone With the Wind

“As I cannot be the hero, let me be the monster, and lesson them in fear in place of love.” -Bobono

"And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover, To entertain these fair well-spoken days, I am determined to prove a villain, And hate the idle pleasures of these days." — William Shakespeare, Richard III (via)

"Words are wind," -Common Saying (but also once said by Tyrion)

"Words are easy, like the wind," William Shakespeare, The Passionate Pilgrim

"Fire and Blood" - the words of House Targaryen

"In this part of the story I am the one who /Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,/Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.” -Pablo Neruda, I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

"Men are such thundering great fools." -Genna Lannister

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" -William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Power resides where men believe it resides… It’s a trick… A shadow on the wall…” -Tyrion Lannister

Plato’s ‘Allegory of the Cave’ discusses how a ‘shadow on the wall’ can be a person’s reality if that is all they know. “To them, I said, the truth would be literally nothing but the shadows of the images…”

You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children. Now say her name.” -Oberyn Martell

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” -Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

The ranger saved Sam and the girl from the wights,” -Bran Stark

No exact quote here, but in JRR Tolkien’s Fellowship of the Ring, Tom Bombadil saves the hobbits from barrow-wights.

Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heartEowyn!” -JRR Tolkien, Return of the King

"I do not have a gentle heart." -Daenerys Targaryen

If you have any more, feel free to add!